Just in case this boat kills me, the executor of my estate has instructions to keep me at the helm in a grave that's 34' long, 12' wide and 55' deep.

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Overhaul  of Acephalous

I purchased a 1987 Catalina 34 (hull number 420) in October of 2005.  It was a floating biology experiment and storage shed.  There was a roach infestation the likes of which I have never seen, a 1/2 inch layer of "something" slimy and smelly growing on the bottom, and in the neighborhood of a ton (not an exaggeration) of garbage stuffed in every compartment and stowage space on board.  I wish I had taken some pictures initially, because there are no amount of words I could write in this space that would describe the level of filth and neglect I found.  The good news, the sails and cushions obviously had not been stored on board while the boat was being ignored.

   I immediately began sorting through all the crap on board.  I found old food, piles of rotting canvas, military munitions, from the first owner (a Marine), 14 large bags of garbage in all.  Every square inch covered in roach crap, every piece of paper falling apart from roach nibbling.  Once all that was removed and every compartment was opened; it was time for the eviction of my free loading tenants.  I can't recommend the use of bug bombs in this fashion but if a little is good, then a lot is better... Well, all I can say is, you can't argue with success.

I bought a six pack of foggers, and as I mentioned before, I opened every nook and cranny on the boat and lit one off forward, mid-ships, and aft Then sealed her up and let the death of millions of innocent cockroaches begin. (insert maniacal laugh here)

One note here:  I did disconnect the shore power and batteries.  One miscalculation with that much flammable material vaporized in the air... (I've watched Myth Busters a time or two, see the side bar) I'm sure the results of an accidental spark would've been extraordinary.  Having come up in the Navy, in an ordnance field I have an idea of the power of a fuel air explosive. 

Anyway, that said, I gave the poison a two day soak period, and there was no explosion.  Then I opened her up and began the cleaning.  A week later the place was nearly back in order.  After I cleaned a compartment I tossed in a roach motel just incase anything survived the holocaust.

I moved aboard the beginning of November.

Episode 23: Exploding House
Jamie and Adam arm themselves with roach foggers and an abandoned apartment building to find out if toxic fumes and bug bombs really are an explosive combination.
premiere: Nov. 16, 2004

The head doesn't work and the marina frowns on peeing over the side, what's a guy to do?  Obviously not often used and even less often maintained, the pump seals were shot.  There was no flow.  This was discovered during the survey...  I believe my response was "no big deal, I'll just buy a repair kit"... Ha!  After some research on the internet, (days of research)  I finally did come up with a rebuild kit for my 1980's era toilet.  It cost approximately $20 dollars less than a new toilet.  This is where my previous experiences as a Jeep owner came in handy.  I just adopted a philosophy that all CJ owners know.  Jeeps (and apparently sailboats) don't break, they give you an opportunity to upgrade.

 Here comes the new toilet. 

Groco Model HF Manual head $209.00 at  BoatersWorld

There's not a whole lot to the installation; a couple of hose clamps, a few bolts, and a lot of stink.  The installation is pretty straight forward. 

1. Close all the valves to the holding tank, macerator, and overboard discharge as well as the saltwater intake thru-hull fittings.

2. Unbolt the old toilet from the deck

3. remove all the hoses (hold nose)

Install new head in the reverse order.  If you're lucky the old bolt holes will line up, if not fill them with a little 3M 5200 and position the new toilet to cover the cosmetic flaws, as best as possible, mark and drill the new holes. 

Perfect Boogie Man territory.

Definitely need to do something about that.

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Alright, boogie man aside,  I'm not really that afraid of the dark, but I like to be able to see the book I'm trying to read, and find the food on my plate.  That said, I found the stock lighting in the boat unsatisfactory.  So, I did a little research into lighting systems for yachts.  Hoping one day to spend some time living on the hook or maybe even sailing at night I want something that won't kill the batteries too quick.  The resulting research brought me to Light Emitting Diode lighting.  I can burn approximately 10 L.E.D.s to 1 incandescent light bulb (speaking of electrical budget here) and they'll last around 100,000 hours (that's about 11 1/2 years).  The light they give off isn't as soft as incandescent but isn't as harsh as fluorescent lights.   I even found some that had three positions; White, Off, and Red.  The red position will come in handy at sea when you don't want to wreck your night vision, but still want to find your way around below decks.

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I'm looking for some useless space.  I think I found it, and for a change it's not between my ears.

After seeing some of the design changes on the new Catalinas, the storage over the sink struck me as a great idea.  Looking at their designs though...  It looks very functional if you're parked next to the dock.  I don't think it would hold much in place underway.  I'll just take their idea and refine it to fit my experience on the ocean.

What is going to destroy my boat first; fire or water?

Neither if I have my way.

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During the survey I noticed there was a little dry rot around the engine compartment immediately below the companionway.  The good news is that it isn't structural, it is merely cosmetic.  The bad news is, it is something else to add to the "needs attention" list.

There's also a safety issue.  The engine compartment contains fuel, air, and heat; sounds like a great place for a fire.  Unfortunately if this situation ever occurs the only way to access the space is to completely disassemble it; not an easy proposition if it's burning.  I need a fire port.

Simple enough, grab handle slide door open....  Nah, nothing is simple 'round here.

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My first impression of the Black Plastic sliding doors on the main salon storage areas wasn't too bad, until I tried to open them.  They were stuck or at very least really tight, the handle on one was broke, and I managed to break a handle on another.  They needed to be replaced but I couldn't remove them. 

Why is there so much water in the bilge?

Why is my shower cold?

Where'd that hurricane come from?

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I'm sorry about the horrible hurricane season... That's right, I'm responsible for raising the surface temperature in the Atlantic Basin.  The bottom of the water heater rusted out and was pouring all that nice warm water into the bilge, while the bilge pump dutifully passed it on straight into the ocean.  Here's the common theme you're going to hear through out this page:  The surveyor said "the water heater is working, but looks like it's in pretty rough shape"... My response, "No big deal, when it goes I'll just replace it, really it's no big deal."  Ha Ha Ha!  I'm a funny guy.

So begins the "upgrading" of the hot water system. 

My heart felt thanks goes out to the folks at Catalina Yachts.  They managed to get a 14" diameter water heater in to a space with only 13" of clearance.  Brilliant!!!

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Want to have a bad day?  Let one of your thru-hull fittings fail below the water line.  When I had Acephalous hauled to clean and paint the bottom;  I had two thru-hull fittings come apart on the transom, simply by being hit with a pressure washer.

Granted, they were 1980's plastic and had been exposed to the Sun's U/V rays for 20 years, but it was an indication that I should have a look at all of them above and below the water line.

All the fittings below the water line "looked" okay, but were also made of 20 year old plastic.  I don't think I'd sleep well at night knowing that is all that's between me and the ocean.

That means it must be time to "upgrade".

Oh, it needs money shoved into it.

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I don't know if it's my time in the Navy or what, but I really like dry bilges and don't trust 20 year old rubber and plastic to keep water out of my boat.  That said, I figured since I'm replacing all the thru-hull fittings, I might as well take time and dig into that 20 year old stern tube shaft seal.  It was effective, when I was running it up the river.  It sprayed a little, the surveyor had pointed that out.  I could've just tightened it up some and probably been okay, but...  I've said it before, I'll say it again... don't take chances below the waterline.  I decided to go with a drip-less seal.  You can call me silly, but the more water I keep on the outside of the hull the happier I am.

Time for another "upgrade".

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With the sanding started and the blue paint dust covering everything within a 20 mile radius I finally reached the keel.  Low and behold my Catalina was smiling at me.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term "Catalina Smile"  It's a crack that forms at the front of the 5,000 pound lead keel casting.  There are a couple of reasons this could happen.  I tend to believe when you swing 5,000 pounds of lead back and forth in the ocean; that's about  all the reason you need.

Looking around the boat yard I see this problem on probably about 1/3 of the sail boats out of the water here, so it's not just Catalina, but it does need to be fixed.

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So there I was, just about done sanding the bottom.  The Catalina smile is handled, the thru-hull fittings are installed; I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  Then I notice a little trickle of water from the area I'm sanding... oh no... not blisters!  Wait a second.... that smells like freshly sanded bondo.  WTF????  Some moron used automobile body filler under the water line?! 

Time to start grinding in earnest, and learn a thing or two about fiberglass work.  

On second thought, maybe I should've just cleaned and waxed it...  D'oh!

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Okay, I'm bottom paint blue head to toe and trying to figure out the correct proportions these paints, primers, fillers, and a few things I can't identify need to be mixed and thinned.  I'm reading data sheets to figure out what order they need to be applied, how long before they can be sanded, what grit sand paper needs to be used, when they can be over coated, or considered dry.  I'm fighting the weather, the hull, the painting, and sanding schedules of the yachts around me. 

I'm on a first name basis with the folks manning the Interlux help line.  This little project has become vastly more complicated than I had ever assumed it could become.  This certainly isn't anything like painting your house.  That said, I have to give a huge 'thank you' to fine people at Dolphin Refinishing.  They've been kind enough to point me in the right direction when I ask for advice, and are there to stop, then correct me when they see me doing something stupid.

Good thing I'm an optimist, patient, and love a challenge.  There are a couple of boats here in the yard that look like they've been abandoned in various phases of this process.  I've been in the boat yard for almost 3 months now and there are at least two boats up here that haven't been touched in that time.  I wonder which their owners ran out of first, money or patients?  Anyway, I endeavor to persevere.

Maintaining teak sucks, I'm not going to do it anymore.

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The new cushions are here!   I ordered a pile of Sunbrella® material, some zippers and had it delivered to my dear mother up in the People's Republic of Michigan.  Two sewing machines later, here is the result.  Thanks mom!  And remember, that sewing machine didn't break; it gave you an opportunity to upgrade.

Can't rub anything without a rub rail...  Lets get to installing.

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There are not enough lines running up the mast yet.  Time to install some more.

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Check out the RIG-TENSIOMETER

Time to do the happy dance!!

One year of ownership and I've finally completed the overhaul!